Tuesday, April 2, 2013

We Understand

Hubby and I really do understand. 

He was in a plane crash in 1990, I have fibromyalgia. Really, we both understand.

Chronic pain is a reality, it is a problem we both live with and there are days when one of us will tell the other "I'm sorry, I just can't deal with you today."

No hurt feelings, no getting mad at each other, it just means you need to retreat with your laptop or a book for the day; and for heaven's sake, be sure you are taking all of your meds.

A lot of couples break up due to one partner having chronic pain and I could certainly understand if one just doesn't "get it", but in our case we are both in the same boat and we both understand.

As a nurse, I understood Hubby and his head injury, his arthritis due to injuries, and whatever other issues the head injuries brought.With head injuries, there can be a lot of issues people never even think about. Fortunately he also understood the injury related arthritis I was dealing with too. 

When I hear someone has been in an accident and "only had a head injury" I shudder. Really, people have no idea and while I dearly dislike the current war going on, I am glad it is beginning to shed some light on head injuries.

We have now been married 13 years. In that time we have seen some friends part ways and heard "They aren't the same person I married." 

Really? Do you remember the part about in sickness and health? Did you ever consider that after 5 years, 10 years, or 50 years none of us are the same person. With or without a head injury or the onset of chronic pain. 

How do you know which one will be the one to develop health problems? Did it ever cross your mind it might end up being you? 

In 2003 Hubby and I had to make tremendous changes when I had to quit working. He even learned to make coffee so he could bring me a cup of coffee every morning. We had some rough times financially but the fact I had changed never made a difference. We rolled with the punches, made the changes and forged forward. 

We will be the first to admit we have had big changes, we will tell you we have both changed over the years, we have weathered the changes and grown together.