Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Painful Truth

The first painful truth is this. We watch "American Idol". So those of you who were watching last night saw each contestant reaval something personal about themselves. One plays tennis, another is a gymnast, etc.

One young man, from Blue Springs, MO, revealed he is a "Word Nerd". He loves words, he loves to do crossword puzzles, he can sit and contently read a dictionary. He sang his song - very well, as far as I am concerned, and Simon told him his singing was boring. HE was boring, His interest in words was... boring.

I commented to Hubby that I did not find his video boring, I thought he was interesting.

Hubby's response?? "Of course you thought he was interesting! You ARE a Word Nerd too!"

Uhmmm..... Oh.

I seem to be at a loss for words.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Our Anniversary

We went to Branson to celebrate our anniversary - 8 years! Wow, it doesn't seem like that long. They have been 8 great years. Maybe not from all points of view - but the bad times I have been through, it has been wonderful to have someone beside me to share the burden.

This man has stood by me and supported me, held my hand during some dark times, and never complained.

Love you, Hubby!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Allow me to go back to Monday; I felt bad to begin with, I had been up all night with the baby goats, and Hubby and I went to town to pick up stuff for the babies and make a very quick trip to Wal-Mart. I picked up some children's chewable vitamins.

I just can't take vitamins - but I am always hearing that I should. But they upset my stomach and I don't feel any "better" when I take them. I decided I would try some children's chewable vitamins since I seem to have better luck with things that are chewable.

Wally World's vitamin selection had an Equate brand of children's chewable so I got a bottle of them - when I got home I ate one and I broke a second one in half and crushed up one part of it to mix with the baby goat's milk.

By 2pm I started to feel like I had tendonitis - all over my body.

Okay - I had spent the whole night pretty sleepless; and getting up and down from the floor while dealing with the goats. So if my hip and back were hurting that would probably explain it. But then my knees started to hurt; and my skin was starting to hurt. At 4pm I found myself just sitting huddled on the couch crying. I had taken Vicodin twice, 50 mg of Phenergan by then and some Excedrin Migraine. For a few minutes I debated going in to soak in a warm bathtub but I wasn't sure if I could get myself out of it once I got in. I ate 4 (81 mg) children's aspirin and waited. I thought maybe the inflammed feeling I had in my skin would surely subside at least. Or maybe the Phenergan would put me to sleep. This went on until around 6 or so.

I sat and wondered what I had done to myself to bring this on. Then I remembered the vitamins...

Sure enough - they contained aspartame!

As someone who has fibromyalgia, I cannot blame anyone but myself - I should have read the label more carefully. But who, WHO in the world would have thought about an artificial sweetener in a children's vitamin?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

30 pounds!

Yaay!! That is a milestone.

Sunday our young nanny goat had triplets - again, she rejected her babies. Last time she had a single and rejected it, and we lost it, this time by the time we took the babies one of them had managed to find her way into the neighbors back yard. It died of pneumonia overnight. I worked and worked all day Monday on the second one. Antibiotics and warmth didn't help, though and it died. The third one is quite healthy.

But I told Hubby I am not up to this and neither is he. We called a neighbor who had been wanting goats and I told her of this nanny's history of rejecting her kids - and I offered her both the nanny and the remaining kid. She was thrilled to get the goats and I was thrilled to be rid of them.

Tuesday she brought the kid over for me to kid-sit while she took her MIL to the doctor and the kid is SO healthy! She followed me around the house, slept and is very heartily eating from a bottle. I know I made the right decision for the goats, for me, and for the neighbor.

I still feel as though I am in a downward spiral. A lot of days I barely have the energy to fix my morning oatmeal - in the microwave!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

28 pounds!

269 - YAAY!!!!

It's slow, but it is coming off.

Today I polished the silver at church in anticipation of Tuesday's dinner. I also let it be known I will NOT be doing this dinner next year. It is just too much for me.

I hope I will have the energy to do pictures Tuesday night like I did last year. I also hope and pray the weather will cooperate! Ice storm expected tomorrow - but it is supposed to end Monday afternoon then have a bit of a warm up.

Tomorrow I need to bake a couple of cakes for Tuesday. I also need to make Rick's bow tie.... It never ends!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Supposed to be a day of rest

But it wasn't. We have been entirely too busy for the past few weeks and it is just too much for me. After spending the majority of yesterday in the ER with a friend of ours we resolved for today to be a day of rest.

I have had a really rough time lately and I feel like I am at about 50% of my "new" normal... Which is not much! Believe me, I have been a slug for the past several years. At my worst was 2002 - 2003 in Montana when I was stuck in bed for months. I had days when making it the 5 steps to the bathroom was an issue and self-care, even washing my face or brushing my teeth was out of the question. I can, at least keep up THAT much now!

Fortunately we have friends who will come and help once in a while with the heavy cleaning, and my Roomba is once again running so that saves me a lot.

Dusting I can't keep up with. Kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, laundry....

Some weeks I can't function well enough to make it to church; sometimes I make it but I end up lying on the floor of one of the Sunday school rooms.

Cooking - oh boy - there's a challenge! But I manage once a week or so to make a big enough batch of something to eat on it all week. Maybe whole-wheat pasta, perhaps brown rice and veggies.

I suppose in time this, too, shall pass.

But I am EXTREMELY frustrated in the meantime!

I have more important things to do.